axinomancy:

“2. ‘You’d look much better if you smiled.’

Translation: Contrary to what you believe, your facial expression, and indeed your brain, are not your own property. While they are in the ‘public sphere’ you have a duty to your fellow citizens to maintain a facial expression that they would like to see. Also, I know that my opinion of your appearance is an issue very close to your heart.”

5. “I’m sorry if you were upset by what I said/did.”

Translation: I’m not sorry, but convention demands that I apologise at this point, so I will do so in an annoying way that lets you know that I don’t think I have anything to apologise for. It’s so much easier than trying to argue my point of view in an intelligent way that might convince you that I was right. And it’s so much more satisfying than actually admitting that you were right and I was wrong and apologising properly. If you continue to be angry at me then I will just point out that I have already apologised so you should just drop the matter. Even if you were right.